To fucking feel empty and feel all consumed.

I have nothing to give anymore. I have nothing.

I'm tired of giving. They say it's better to give than to receive and I have been living with that saying for quite a long time. But after awhile.. after giving a lot, and not receiving anything, I'm empty. I do not have anything to give anymore. Hah. So, this is possible. This is what it feels like? 

I have been trying to squeeze everything out from me - trying to make sure that I did not miss anything out and that I still even have a little to give out. Obviously, I've been failing.

For someone who treasures the little-st things, I've come to this level that I can't find anything to appreciate anymore. I hate myself for that. Is there something wrong with me? Am I wrong to ask a little something? Are they really to blame or is it my fault for expecting? I don't know.

Don't get me wrong. I don't give so I could receive something in return. But wouldn't it be nice to feel validated even once in a while? To feel appreciated? To be recognized? Because I haven't felt that in a long time.

Right now, I want everything to slow down. I want to slowly bounce back and find a reason to give again. Something that will recharge me... You know how it goes.. We can't give anything what we don't have. We just.. can't.

If you're still reading this, a gentle reminder: try to reciprocate. Look around you and try to appreciate other people's effort. An acknowledgement is sometimes even more than enough. A clap, a gentle pat on their backs, a smile. Anything. Just try to give them a little something to hold on too.

Until next time.