they say slow progress is still progress.

i just never expected my progress to be this slow.

i'm still in the process... and yes, i believe that i'm moving forward. but as i've mentioned before, sometimes it feels like i take one step forward and two steps back...

it feels like something is pulling me backwards.
i want to end this. i want to finish it already. the suffering's too much. but i don't know how.

i'm moving forward... moving a tiny step forward...
but what if i'm just hiding from the truth...
what if i just don't want to experience the bad things?
what if i thought i already experienced the bad things but those are just the tip of the iceberg?

my thoughts are all over the place.

i'm confused.
i just want to be back to my old self.
i blame myself for experiencing this.

i knew this might happen... yet look, i let it happen.

what if i'm just compartmentalizing?
i want to bury all those bad emotions somewhere deep...
but most of the times, i fail.

questions always pop out of nowhere.
where do i get the answers?

i'm confused.
where do i go?
what do i do?

breathe... just breathe..
fuck.
i think i'm doomed.

do i need help?
help.