being distracted from my bad emotions keeps me away from this blog.
i try to avoid all triggers as much as i can. it was effective. it was working especially during early october.

however, i discovered something more important.



the thing is you cannot avoid triggers as much as you want to.
they'll eventually show up at the strangest places.

but, what surprised me is i actually feel less  affected compared before. is this what feeling better is?
i'm quite not sure how i was able to manage to do that --- if i was just too immuned with triggers or if i'm actually feeling better.

i'm scared to admit that i'm fine because what if i'm actually not? i feel fine but i'm scared what if i break down just after i post this?

on some days, everything feels lighter...
maybe it's actually time to acknowledge that i can actually feel better.

what a very unusual feeling.