hello everyone. it's been more than a month.
it's 12:06am and the only reason i am up is i'm at work and well, technically working.

i just want to share how things have been lately.. how i have been lately. you know, just to document my progress.



(no travel posts just yet although i know i have shit tons to post lol)

i have been busy... and still busy. i think the universe wants me to drown with work. but hey, it works. i have been distracted so all my feelings are set aside... except for the things i have to complain with work. that has been helpful. i do acknowledge that i may have been just distracted and that i am not completely fine.

there are things that can still trigger me though. there are still sleepless and crying moments but i guess that's normal.

i am still neglecting my art.. for months. it's the time of the year. also, i just don't feel like creating. maybe that's how sad i am.

however, i may have been creating some art this past week...
i finally have an apple pencil (a gift from moi to moi).

my latest trigger is taylor swift's new album, lover. songs can hurt me... a lot. so i turned the lyrics into some form of art.

another point! honestly, i have been avoiding a lot of movies as well. they intend to make me feel 1) alone, 2) reminiscent, and 3) regretful. i avoid movies that i know can hurt me and remind me of so much things. so there are tons of movie suggestions for me by my friends but i do not watch these. i focused myself finishing the big bang theory although from time to time some of my bad emotions can be triggered too.

tonight, i accidentally watched five feet apart. it was okay, it was great.
just too sad... which is affecting me negatively.
so that's actually the reason why i am here.

don't get me wrong. i am still so proud of myself.. of how far i've come.
and i'm thankful for all the people who have been with me since forever.
and for all the people i never thought who would be there for me.

i once told my story to one of my superiors... and he asked me, "so how are you now?"
that caught me off guard.

maybe i can now say, that i'm fine. i'm better.
but i still could be better.

to better and greater days!
back to work.